Motherhood Day

Today was Mother's Day, and I have to say it felt different (in a great way) from past ones.

I'll explain. 

For past Mother's Days, my desire was to not lift a finger. Just have total rest and basically "check out" from any caregiving work for the day. 

It would go okay, but someone would inevitably need something and I'd end up feeling cheated and grumpy because I didn't get my wish of celebrating motherhood ...by taking a break from it (hard to imagine how that foolproof plan could ever not work out.... doh!). 

This one was different -- starting before I even woke up. 

I dreamed that I was separated from our girls, on a long international flight. I wasn't even sure they made it on the plane! I was in helpless panic and kept thinking of the very worst things that could be happening to them, left behind in a foreign country. I wept uncontrollably when the flight attendant escorted me to the front of the plane, where they were being looked after.

You can imagine the relief I felt when I woke up and realized it was all a dream!

(That relief lasted about 30 seconds, until Caitlyn walked in our room (in real life) and said worriedly, "You GUYS. Something happened. You GOTTA come see this." ... more on that story in a future post, but it involved several brown-colored surprises in the hallway that told the story of a puppy who tried to hold it and then couldn't, then panicked and tried to hold it some more and couldn't... yyyyeah, it was bad. )

Back to the point. I woke up, feeling completely grateful and happy just to be here, with all of these people I get to help guide and grow. 

And that feeling continued through the whole day. There were definitely parts that were focused on me and that helped me feel appreciated and loved (thanks again, Chris!), but there were even more parts that highlighted some of my favorite aspects of motherhood: messy, chaotic moments; an injury requiring wound care; comforting the child who was hurting; talking through life challenges; laughing; sharing memories and real connection-- a solid sampling of what motherhood really is. 

When I say what motherhood really is, I'm not talking about cleaning or scheduling things or driving people around. I'm talking about the connective bits that stack up to form strong bonds between us. Yes, there was cleaning and caregiving involved, but they were simply vehicles for the connection to occur. 

So it felt like today was a celebration of motherhood, just as much (or more than) as a celebration of me as a mom. This really opened my heart to be able to receive so much more love, and it was beautiful. I will be officially upgrading my annual hopes and dreams for Mother's Day, to shift and be Motherhood Day.

I hope it was a beautiful day for you, as well -- regardless of whether/how you celebrated!