It is what it is?

I have mixed feelings about the saying, "It is what it is." I like it because there's power in acceptance. But it can also be used as a cop-out from confrontation or change, which isn't helpful and can keep us stuck.

To make the phrase work for our growth, we can simply add a comma and continue the sentence. 

It is what it is, and here's what I will do next.

With this revised version, we're acknowledging the present state, but we're not stuck there. We're using our power of agency to shape what comes as a result of our current circumstance. This is how we make room for growth and progress.

For instance, let's say I notice that I have a mouse in my house (sorry if this is gross). Simply shrugging and saying "It is what it is" doesn't make the mouse go away. In fact, the lack of action in this case could result in an even bigger problem, even an eventual infestation. I have to acknowledge it, be real about the fact that I'm not okay with it, and work (sometimes really hard if necessary) to find solutions to improve the situation. There is always  something we can do -- even if it doesn't match the ideal or what we originally expected. Denying that yields complacency and potentially hazardous results. 

There's more available.

Note: I've loved the latest Mel Robbins book, The Let Them Theory, where she goes deep on this topic in various areas of our lives -- work, friend/family relationships, community, and romance. Highly recommend the audio version!