End it completely, or end it as you know it
When something in your life isn't working, you have some options:
- Suffer in silence
- Try to fix it
- End it completely
- End it as you know it
Suffering in silence is never a good idea. No one deserves that, and nothing good comes of it in the long run. It might feel like the easiest path for now, but it shows up in all kinds of nasty ways later on.
Trying to fix it can help temporarily, but more often that not, things drift back to where they were before.
Ending it completely is sometimes the best option, especially if there are other parties involved who refuse to admit there's a problem.
But there's another option that is easy to miss but really helpful to consider: End it as you know it.
Ending it as you know it means you're not finished with that thing entirely, or forever. It means that you have to let what exists today die in order for new growth to happen.
If you're in a relationship where you don't have a voice, end that relationship as you know it and begin a new one in which you have more courage to speak up, and your partner willingly listens. It can be with the same partner you've had, but it has to be a new relationship with them. Otherwise, you'll default to the "silent partner" role over and over again. Note: Of course, not every relationship can or should be rebuilt — especially in cases involving abuse or deep breaches of trust. Safety and support come first.
If you're in a job where you're completely burnt out, end it (as you know it) and start fresh. This can be in the exact same role you've been in -- no resumes or interviews required -- but starting fresh allows you to evaluate what actual work needs to get done, and the exact steps you need to take to get there. You can end what you've been doing by letting the rest go.
If you're deeply unhappy in your life, you don’t necessarily need to burn it all down or start over from scratch. Often, the path forward starts by ending it as you know it — shifting the patterns, pressures, or expectations that are blocking you from joy.
Keeping something going as-is just because you started it, or because you've already hung with it this long won't fix anything. It will likely just magnify what's not working and bring you (+ those around you) misery in the meantime.
Obviously some situations are much more complicated than these simple examples, and sometimes change takes longer than we want — especially when we're dealing with health challenges, limited resources, or deeply rooted patterns — but even small shifts in how we relate to something can make a big difference. End what you can as you know it (even if it's just the way you show up), then build something new that makes more sense. We are creative beings, with God-given power to choose. We don't have to stay miserable, and we also don't have to accept the "all or nothing" extreme. There's more freedom available than that.
