The power in loss
When something comes to an end, especially when it's special to you, it feels like a massive loss. You feel a gaping hole in your life where it was, and life as you knew it is gone. In that moment, all you can see is that loss. It's one of the hardest parts of being human. We'll often go to great lengths to avoid this feeling -- even if it means experiencing chronic pain instead.
The idea of loss is scary, especially when we attach meaning to it (i.e. "If I lose my job, I'm a loser who contributes nothing to society"). But if we can avoid that tendency, there is a lot of potential power in it. Not that we actively seek loss, necessarily, but we don't have to resist it so hard when we accept the possibilities that it brings. Possibilities that come to mind:
- Loss can bring wisdom.
- Loss can open space for new growth and connection.
- Loss can build resilience.
- Loss can deepen gratitude.
- Loss can strengthen existing relationships.
- Loss can open us up to receiving help from others.
- Loss can change the lenses we see the world through.
- Loss can bring us closer to God.
- Loss can inspire creativity.
- Loss can motivate us to rebuild.
It's easy to fall into the trap of focusing on the loss itself. Healthy processing is necessary, but there comes a point at which the void will be filled -- either with toxic negative meanings, or with positive growth as mentioned above. The default, unfortunately, is the former. Without proactive, intentional growth, we end up carrying the heavy and unnecessary burden of feeling like the loss means something about us -- who we are, or what we deserve.
Stepping back and looking at the loss objectively takes more work and psychological maturity, but it's well worth the effort because it can bring purpose to the loss instead of negative meaning. This way, we are better able to heal and move forward with the lessons learned and wisdom gained.
Loss has huge potential power. It's up to us to choose whether that power will hold us back or propel us forward.
